- Respond to your child’s behavior in a similar manner repeatedly
- Be clear about the rules and expectations
- Maintain the routine- if the routine shifts be explicit to the reason for the shift
- Be predictable for your child
Why is it so hard to be consistent?
- Development of the Child
- The emotional intelligence of the child and the parent
- The parents past experiences and how it affects the present
- Wake up
- Breakfast School/Weekend activity
- Homework/Play/Weekend activity
- Quite/Rest time
- Bedtime routine
Why is it so hard to maintain a routine?
- Parents experiences and how it affects the present
- Extended Family
- Emotional Intelligence of parent and child
Lack of it creates:
- Confusion and challenging behavior in the children
- Children attempting to “become the problem” so caregivers focus on them and stop fighting
- When one caregiver denies, restates, or avoids the other caregiver’s rule/boundary that action sends a message to the children that only one caregiver is SAFE
- When one parent takes ALL of the responsibility and daily tasks from the other parent, that parent becomes less involved with the children and it can cause an attachment and relational disengagement between parent and child.
Why is it so hard to maintain teamwork?
- Ghosts in the Nursery
- Family of Origin
- Clarity in Division of Labor
- Emotional intelligence
- Marital conflict/Divorce
- Be clear on the expectations of each caregiver and what they each do
- Agree on the values and rules being taught to the children
- Use each of your strengths and divide & conquer tasks based on your strengths
- Understand the influence of the “Ghosts in the Nursery”
- Understand the influence of the environment and culture around your family