Gottman

How to be Certain They Love You

How to be Certain They Love You

I have been thinking about the time I spend with couples as their therapist.  It is compelling to sit in a couple’s therapy session and witness how love can make a lot of us feel completely out of control.  I see couples fight furiously and notice how each partner is completely oblivious to the fact that it’s not the money or the child that’s the issue.  What they are really fighting about involves three very simple questions, Do you love me?  Will you stay with me?  How can I be sure that you won’t hurt me? When I witness this in a session I have the wonderful and sometimes energizing opportunity of letting them know that they are fighting for love.