Blog
Let’s talk about consequences. One of the most frequent questions parents ask me in workshops and consultations is what is the consequence to a child’s challenging behavior. Most ask that question because they have an inappropriate goal. They've been told that the right goal is for your child to feel bad when they're not listening or when they've made a mistake. I want you to wonder: When was the last time that you learned anything while feeling bad?
A parent member of our online parenting support asked:
We are doing the Elf on the Shelf this year for my daughter (4-years-old). I think that the elf watching for good behavior is a good incentive. Any thought or experiences?
What is the best method for disciplining our kids?
I was embarrassed that I had welled up to the point where my nose and my eyes could no longer function properly. I attempted not to take a huge breath or blink since tears were going to pour. From the stage I listened to Heather C. McGhee tell all of us that we needed to listen and understand one another, to meet in our humanity if there was to be true change. I began to cry because I know that this is the answer. As a psychotherapist to families and children, I sit and listen to others' humanity daily, and it always works when we listen, understand, and meet in that place of "yes, me too." However, in this moment at the We Won’t Wait Summit my tears were a mixture of McGhee stating what I believe to my soul and knowing how difficult it is for people to sit, speak, and listen to one another's experiences and feelings.
