I have lost track of how many times I have cried and simultaneously been inspired due to the events at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, in Parkland, FL. The school is close to home. I live in Miami. That morning I knew that many parents would be reaching out to me wondering how to best help their children.
Most parents fear their children could fall in the trap of misusing drugs and alcohol. This video helps you find answers to avoiding this fate.
I cringed as my husband told my daughter that he would no longer help her order the next time we went to a restaurant. We have a hard and clean rule of not disagreeing in front of the children when one of us is setting a boundary, but in this situation I could not hold my tongue. I had never thought about it, but we disagreed about whether or not our children should order their own food at a restaurant.
I watched my daughter’s eyes swell up with tears and thought, “here it is, here is the day I have been dreading.” We spoke while I brushed her hair about an incident she had in her classroom. The students in her class have begun to point out how intelligent she is. They react to her with jokes spiced with sarcasm saying, “What’s the magic recipe for getting all the answers right?” This is not bullying. These are just kids reacting, noticing, moving through the markers of development. The ones speaking to her this way are defending themselves from embarrassment and fear of my daughter judging their mistakes or their perceived lack of knowledge compared to her. My daughter has begun to balance with how to be her authentic self: intelligent, curious, an avid reader and friend, with her need to remain in relationship with those around her.
Director Pete Docter takes on the world of the mind and emotions and creates a visually beautiful film. The movie engages you from the very start. I watched in awe as everything I know about a tween’s social and emotional development was presented with entertaining banter and wit. In the first ten minutes the film introduces each feeling, defines them and what they do for Riley, the 11 year old star of the film, at this point Inside Out had my heart. At that moment I understood that a parent can use this film in any age group but in particular for a tween to speak and explain the world of choices, loss and emotions. Here are my suggestions on how to use the movie to begin a conversation with your tween about the world inside their minds:
As a parenting and child development expert, I generally know how to handle these moments of rivalry, but as a parent I understand how excruciating and off putting they can feel. Here are some things to keep in mind the next time your siblings fight.
The most important point: if no one is bleeding,
The statistics and multiple negative outcomes of children that are disciplined with corporal punishment are well known to those who work with children. Children’s Trends, a research group, found that corporal punishment increases negative outcomes in adolescence like low academic achievement, alcohol and drug use, antisocial behavior. They also found that the older the age of the child, the greater the negative outcomes. So why do 70% of parents in the United States believe in spanking?