Handling Biting and Hitting: Tips for Early Childhood

Parenting young children can feel overwhelming. Many caregivers often find themselves wondering, "Is this normal behavior?" when faced with their little ones' actions such as hitting, biting, or pushing. Here, you'll find insights on those all-too-common issues of biting and hitting in children under seven, reassuring you that it’s completely normal. 

They Show How They Feel

Children, especially those under five, often express overwhelming emotions through physical actions like hitting or biting. This is not only normal but expected. These actions are typically their first line of response to intense feelings such as frustration or anger. Understanding this can help caregivers respond more effectively by reinforcing gentle communication and teaching alternative expressions of feelings.

Biting, particularly in children younger than two, is usually a reflexive action stemming from feelings of joy or frustration.
— Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA, LMFT


Reflexive Actions: Understanding Biting

Biting, particularly in children younger than two, is usually a reflexive action stemming from feelings of joy or frustration. It's a natural reflex, similar to the sucking reflex evident in infants. For toddlers, the action of biting when excited is just another way they are learning to respond to their emotions.


Dealing with Aggression: Redirect and Educate

When dealing with biting or hitting, gently removing the child from the situation and calmly explaining that such behaviors are unacceptable is the first line of defense. Offering alternatives like a sippy cup can redirect the biting reflex into a more appropriate action. Consistent and calm repetition of guidelines like " You are so angry, but we don't hurt others, no matter how frustrated we get," helps instill self-control over time. The consistent repetitive response is what ends the hitting and biting. It could take up to four weeks before you see a change.


The Role of Modeling Behavior in Children’s Actions

Children learn by imitating adults. If a child experiences or witnesses physical responses like spanking as a solution to undesirable behavior, they are likely to mimic this in their interactions with their peers and adults. This underlines the importance of positive role modeling in the early years to foster healthy social behaviors.


Consistency and Routine: The Pillars of Positive Behavior at Home

Children thrive on routine and consistency, which helps them understand what to expect and how to behave. Children often behave well in school because of the structured environment and may act out at home where the routine is less predictable. By establishing a predictable routine at home, parents can create an environment that supports good behavior and reduces stress for both children and caregivers.


Repetition and Consistency Are Key

Raising young children requires patience and consistent messaging. The challenges of early childhood behaviors are normal and manageable with the right approaches. By understanding the reasons behind behaviors and consistently guiding children towards appropriate actions, parents can foster a nurturing environment that encourages healthy emotional and social development.


Navigating early childhood behaviors is a journey—by staying informed and responsive, caregivers can ensure it’s a positive one.